Lucy Mannion

Naked Politics Blogger 

So there we have it, a brand spanking new PM just like that!  Sure was easy wasn’t it, don’t even know why we bother with those messy elections.  But unlike those who have come before her, I feel we don’t really know that much about our new ruler.  Theresa May has been playing hard to get with the public and I believe it’s high time we got up close and personal with her.

What do we know about her?  Well anyone with ears and eyes who has a television should realise by now that SHE IS A VICAR’S DAUGHTER, did you get that!  Offspring of a clergyman, this seems to be the most repeated snippet on the news and I thought, really that’s all you’ve got… I reckon there must be some more titillating nuggets of truth in her closet and I’m going hunting!

Let’s start with the well-trodden ground. Theresa May (nee Brasier, which I can only hear as brassiere) was born on the 1st of October 1956.  This makes her a Libra for astrologically minded readers, signifying she should be cooperative, diplomatic and gracious, advantageous traits for a PM at least.

T-May was born in Eastbourne and raised in Wheatley, Oxfordshire.  I’ve had a gander on Google Maps and it looks very twee, lots of pleasant stone buildings and the like.  She was an only child and won a place at a grammar school after deciding that she wanted to become a politician at age twelveReportedly a daddy’s girl she lost both of her parents in her mid-twenties.  Theresa is additionally a self-proclaimed ‘goody two shoes.’

Prime Minister May studied Geography (for some reason…) at the University of Oxford, obtaining a Second (no Nunns or Desmonds back in those days.) She was part of the Student Union and apparently presided over debates by brandishing a meat tenderiser instead of a gavel.  This may be literally my favourite thing about her and possibly just my favourite detail ever.  She met her husband Philip while at Oxford, when they were introduced at a dance by the future Prime Minister of Pakistan Benazir Bhutto.

Theresa went on to work for the Bank of England in the seventies and eighties before moving on to the fantastically dull sounding Association for Payment Clearing Services where she watched over our banking industry’s relationship with Europe, which should come in handy then.  Philip also delved in to finance as an investment relationship manager (don’t ask me I don’t know what they do.)

Something most of us have cottoned on to by now is that our new lady PM does seem to have a penchant for fashion, generally staying away from the dowdy tailored yuck suits many female politicians sport.  But where does she buy her pretty things?  I personally was keen on the snazzy yellow number she wore to see the Queen and it appears she is already conscious of having to support UK businesses, as that outfit was by British designer Amanda Wakeley.  Apparently she’s very loyal to her preferred brands, with many of her really quite enviable shoes coming from LK Bennett.  No Primarni for Theresa.

Her chosen tipple is a St Clements, with lemonade.  I do take issue with this as, firstly is this not what parents get their children when they take them to the pub and secondly WTF it’s supposed to be with bitter lemon, she might as well just have a can of Tango.  On the topic of sugary drinks, worth a mention is that Mrs May has Type 1 diabetes and has to have four insulin injections a day.

Acknowledged to have a vast collection of cooks books, our PM favours the non-conformist, pinch of this, dash of that, pukka style of the perpetually present, usually patronising, Jamie Oliver, over the sacred regulations of Delia and the like.  I would have had her down as a by- the-recipe-book kind of gal, but there you go she’s a maverick in the kitchen.

It may surprise you to be informed that during her time in politics, the ever-dignified Theresa has received some strange invitations requesting her to appear on adult (sexy) television and model beachwear.  How intriguing you think, is she hiding the world’s best fifty plus rockin’ bod under those striking outfits.  Well she might be but seemingly people just get her muddled up with Teresa (no H) May, the porn star.

Finally, she may be seeing more of dear old Liz from now on, but Theresa will be the only dancing queen, as she selected the ABBA disco classic when she appeared on Desert Island Discs asserting that she’d like ‘something to jig up and down to on this desert island.”  Jig away, Theresa, jig away.

**Not all uses of the word may in this article are intended as a pun.  Some are.

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Last Update: April 28, 2018